Sunday, November 22, 2009

Deep in thought after a night working at a local homeless organization.

It is so odd how we see the things we want to see.
You can live in Oxford for months before you notice a homeless person.
You can live for years and never do something to change the brokenness around you.

And I say this as an introspective view... it is so easy for me to do nothing.

Why do you think that we hide from what Jesus called us to? When we are called to the least of these, why is it that we forego our cross and tiptoe away? I used to believe it was due to my own laziness. It is simply easier to care about only myself.

Yet, I discovered something else tonight. The starting point is not my own selfishness. Underneath the self-interest, there is a deep fear of loving someone other than myself. To show that I care, to be vulnerable... it opens to the probability of making mistakes. There is something terrifying about talking to older, homeless men for an hour. The question always runs through my mind, "What do you really want?" Each person wants to be recognized as a human being... not some lower class write-off. At the same time, I want to be recognized as a human being also.

And, perhaps that is the irony of loving people. We all just want to be humanized again. And only Jesus' love poured out from people willing to pick up their crosses can do this.

Maybe that is why I find it so easy to disengage from the pain around me.

The path that Jesus walked was hard.
But also beautiful.

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